HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE

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Marriage is the most important and most enjoyable of all human relationships. It is the true basis of all family life. No one should ever enter into marriage thoughtlessly. Too much is at stake. Far too many people are unhappily married because of hasty decisions. True marital happiness requires that both husband and wife be well matched in mind and body, and that they be compatible and easy to get along with. It always takes two people to make a successful marriage, but one alone can spoil it through neglect or selfishness.

Setting up a new home is a great adventure for all who are young at heart. There are so many things to see and do, and so many pleasures to enjoy together. Most thrilling of all is the privilege and enjoyment of a normal sex relationship. Nothing contributes more to a smooth-running home than this. On the other hand, nothing seems to cause more trouble than failure in this “normal” part of human experience. Men and women who are not prepared to understand this simple fact had better not enter into marriage, for they are likely to be very disappointed.

                     Importance of Sex

This is the highest expression of physical love that human beings can enjoy — a satisfactory sex relationship. Among most of the lower animals, this does not appear to be true. In them, the sex instinct apparently has only one purpose — that of reproduction, whatever the cost. And once their offspring have reached physical maturity, the parents generally feel no further responsibility. The family relationship then breaks up; the parents may separate and not even recognise their young after they are fully grown.

Not so in the human family. Here things are very different. The young human not only grows slowly, but must develop a mind with reasoning power. Because of this slow growth, a human family must be kept together as unit for the proper training of the children. A broken home is always a tragedy. It is certainly not an ideal place to have a child grow up, but there are times when it might be preferable to a home in which the parents are continually quarreling. Children who have grown up in a home constantly torn with strife and anger.

Marriage does not solve all the problems of life by any means. Take a good look at the people around you. How many of them are really happy? Some may appear carefree and lighthearted, but underneath there is often a feeling of loneliness, of having missed the best things in life. This is often true of married people. Many of these were far from happy before they were married. Some of them entered into matrimony only in the hope that it would solve their problems. But marriage rarely solves major personality problems.

Marriage is for Mature People

It is highly important for both husband and wife to be mature in mind before they enter into marriage. Many unhappy people are sick both in mind and body. Some immaturely take out their feelings on others, becoming spiteful, cantankerous, unreasonable and harsh in their attitude toward life.

Others turn their frustrated feelings upon themselves, producing ulcers, high blood pressure, tension headaches, indigestion, and many other unhappy symptoms. They are constantly troubled with nervous complaints. Their diseases may appear different, but the underlying cause is often the same. Some of these unhappy individuals felt unwanted during their early years. Perhaps they were unhappy because someone else was the favourite child of the family. Such situations always lead to unhappy marriages and frustration with life.

Most family problems start first of all with the parents. If they are argumentative and have their divergent viewpoints, there is bound to be trouble. If the parents undermine each other in the esteem of their children, they can expect unhappiness. The trouble is often due to one or the other parent not having fully grown up, with the result that no one is happy. No one should consider marriage unless he or she is already a mature adult. This is most important. A mature mind and a wholesome attitude will go a long way in preventing serious trouble in the home.